Loyalty Contracts: How Early Attachment Injuries Shape Adult Relational Patterns, Beliefs, and Expectations
Course Description: Attachment injuries leave a long-term, often unconscious impression on the brain, the body, and sense of self. This 2-hour seminar examines how the spoken and unspoken rules and conditions of childhood become internalized as repeated patterns called “loyalty contracts.” Loyalty contracts can be conceptualized as an internalized system of beliefs, feelings, reactions, and expectations that were created and deeply rooted in early parent-child interactions as well as a person’s socio-cultural context.
This workshop will address how these repeated, often dysfunctional, relational patterns are both a reflection of our patients’ early attachment injuries as well as an attempt to rectify or recover from said injuries. Because all insecure attachments leave a residue of fear and mistrust, patients will often present with a fierce need to prove self-worth, coupled with a secret, internalized longing for rescue. Since all unfair loyalty contracts to some degree prohibit the expression of autonomy, there is also a fear of breaking free of the loyalty contract, based on a belief that the child, now an adult, isn’t worthy of something better, or the world feels too unsafe, or there is a deep conviction that no one can really be trusted.
To better understand how these conflicting tensions play out in terms of defense patterns and symptom presentation. Case illustrations will also be provided to demonstrate how to break the grip of unfair loyalty contracts and ameliorate negative reenactments.